In 1986 the US Navy decided to produce a two hour long recruiting video.

Starring a young unknown named Tom Cruise, the film was meant to show the new flamboyant and arrogant attitude of the military. USA! USA! USA!

Wars are now won and lost based on the size of a pilot’s ego, so the hope was that Top Gun could pull in the largest egos possible.

Cruise’s character, Maverick, was a motorcycle riding, life endangering, true American hero. Anthony Edwards, playing the part of Goose, represented the men unfit for military service; those who would ask "Should we be doing another flyby of the tower, Mav?" and "Mav, that ground looks awfully close."

The lesson was hammered home when Goose met his untimely end, at the hands of a cockpit window.

If only he’d had the good sense to shoot out the window with his sidearm before jumping out of the F14, then use his massive American balls to slow his descent, he’d still be alive today.

Maverick survives the incident, and goes on to make love to several dozen women all while piloting his plane, smoking a cigar, and listening to Ronald Reagan campaign ads at half-speed so he can appreciate every subtle nuance of the man, the myth, the legend: The Ronald Reagan.

The moral of the story is that Maverick, a man with wanton disregard for everything in his life, with the exception of causing destruction on behalf of America, is practically bulletproof. While Goose, who found himself asking questions beginning with ‘why’ and ‘should’, found himself a literal fly on a windshield.

USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

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Directed by John Hughes, The Breakfast Club was filmed in an incredible 46 minutes – a full 47 minutes less than its actual running time.

Based on the book “Life’s so hard for us teens :(“ The Breakfast Club follows five ragtag teens as they attempt to prove to each other that they’ve all got it so hard. The magnitude of their struggles in life is emphasized when it’s revealed in the final act that the entire movie is set during the Great Depression, the school is a prison, and the actors are all actually Irish immigrants.

The story begins with each of the actors eating a club sandwich for breakfast, giving the film its name. They then traverse the biting cold to “school” where they have “detention.” Of course we find out later they’ve been sentenced to voluntary life-in-prison sentences for hoarding potatoes.

Over the course of the next 15 minutes we’re introduced to all of the characters and their respective struggles.

John Bender: The ‘rebel’ of the group, Bender is actually a victim of child abuse. As an example, his mother once spanked him. With her hand. On his bottom. This tragic story is told through tears by Bender as the other Clubbers sit Indian-style holding hands and reassuring him it wasn’t his fault his room was “a mess”

Andrew Clark: The ‘athlete’ of the group. Clark must deal with his over-bearing father insisting he become a basketball phenom, despite being 5’3”.

Claire Standish: The ‘girl’ of the group. Standish’s parents insist on him wearing a dress and having scraggly long red hair despite him being a gangly freckled teen boy.

Allison Reynolds: The ‘basket case’ of the group. Reynolds bears the unfortunate burden of being a “diehard fan of Bon Jovi.” Quite possibly the most shameful secret to reveal.

Brian Johnson: The ‘brains’ of the group. Johnson is a 38 year old singer surrounded by teens. At the end of the movie he walks into the library with his head down and tears flowing before finally admitting he’s in “AC/DC.” “I’m so sorry guys, I let you all down. I wish I could’ve just been beaten by my parents.”

Say Anything, released in 1989, marks Russell Crow’s directorial debut. It is an art-house film – marking the first time such a film found success in the mainstream – based loosely on the Stephen King novel Christine. It stars John Mahoney as ‘Jim Court’, Judd Nelson as ‘Young Jim Court’, and Ione Skye as ‘Unnamed Woman’.

Say Anything begins with Jim Court sitting in a bathtub. Contemplating the last forty-years, the camera moves in slowly to show us Court’s slow descent into dementia. This descent is documented through Court’s facial expressions and flashbacks to his youth.

Court’s first flashback takes us to a simpler time when he ran a daycare agency out of his living room for young neighbourhood boys, free-of-charge.

Court’s face finds itself with an intense expression when he thinks back to meeting Unnamed Woman and teaching her how to drive the car that she was given for graduating – at least that is what’s mentioned in passing. Court’s face grimaces with each damaging clutch press and gearshift.

Court manages to keep it together, and minutes later he teaches Unnamed Woman how to do a different style of driving. Unfortunately the lesson is cut short because Court loses a contact lens (symbolizing his youth and dreams) in the back seat and the two seek the illuminating capability of a blanket in order to help them find it. Mahoney recreates this memory powerfully, showing us all what it must look like for an individual to possess only one contact lens by sloppily kissing at the air about him.

The scene ends with Court dashing out of the bathtub once he has a vague recollection of having fingered some dollar bills earlier in the day. Court goes on a desperate search in order to find this stash of money and regain his sanity.

The narrative and Court’s mental state begin to show breaks once Court’s memories begin to include both his current and younger self. In a moment of clarity, Court realizes his alienation as brought about by a capitalist economic system. He has become alienated from himself. And in a heartbreaking twist, he realizes that Unnamed Woman is really his animus – the psychological projection of his feminine side that he had tried to repress since his father called him a ‘Nancy’ in the late 1930s.

The film ends with a broken Court seeking refuge in the prison of his mind, having thrown in the towel and deciding that he is ready to be reunited with all aspects of his Self and accept the cold indifference of the universe.

After a brief fit of yelling and a wrestling match with a shopping cart, that is.

Beautiful.

Revolutionized how individuals approached bathing and washing clothing by showing them the ‘two birds with one stone’ method.

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Lethal Weapon stars Mel Gibson and Danny Glover as two unlikely partners in the Los Angeles Police Department Negro Beating Division. Gibson, playing Detective Martin Riggs, joined the squad after stepping down from his position as Grand Wizard in an attempt to lower his racism to a socially acceptable level. Glover, who fans knew and loved as Detective Roger Murtaugh, was just a man trying to make an honest dollar in the time-honoured tradition of divide and conquer.

The film starts with Riggs sitting in his office and sucking on a pistol while wondering how his Southern Baptist parents are going to take the news of his resignation. It’s a touching 45-minute scene where Gibson really lets his  acting chops show.

Riggs is then introduced to Murtaugh, which leads into another 45-minute scene of Riggs sucking on his pistol. Riggs manages to pull himself together once Murtaugh tells him about the case they’ve been assigned to: Murtaugh is aging and depressed and would like to buy a motorcycle, giving him a sense of freedom and allowing the wind to whip through his curly blonde locks.

After 45-minutes of thinking it over with a gun in his mouth, Riggs agrees that this is a worthwhile cause. The two take to the streets for an unprecedented 4.5-hours of dark comedy and drama (known by the portmanteau of coma) that will cause viewers to laugh, cry, and maybe even grow a little.

Lethal Weapon was written and filmed over the course of two weekends in late 1986. It was released to audiences on March 5^th, 1987. Due to complaints about the racial under- and over-tones, the film was re-cut later that night and re-released on March 6^th.

The new release replaced Riggs’ Grand Wizard roots with the thin veil of having been a member of a Special Ops force in the United States Army. This edit also removed Lethal Weapon from being a social commentary on racism in America and launched it into the field of ‘interesting’ by defining the ‘buddy cop’ genre. The length of the film was also cut to a svelte four-hours and twenty-nine-minutes by removing several seconds from each of Riggs’ attempted suicide scenes. Also on the cutting room floor was the final scene where Riggs realized that his problem with ‘others’ was really just a problem within himself. (These scenes are restored to their full length in the Director’s Cut, where fans can  also see Gibson’s improvised scene on the Jew-run Liberal media.)

Years later when Gibson was asked how he felt about the final cut of the film, he had this to say: “In hindsight, I’m happy with the final product. Like any true-blooded American, I didn’t really want my name being associated with such seething racism. I had a fear of being associated with how I acted in my movie, y’know? That wasn’t me at all… I would never judge someone based on skin colour or religion!”

Mel Gibson, a true champion of racial equality.

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With the arrival of 1980 also came the arrival of many new technologies in filmmaking. It was the first year that video was added to film, turning conventional “talkies” into “watchies.” It was also the first year which allowed women to star in films – a role previously filled by cross dressing men such as Sir. Estelle Getty.

#10 – The Blues Brothers – $52m (437 x 10^375 in 1923 German Marks)

A documentary on the life of two cataract suffering music lovers – Dan Ackroyd and John Belushi. The film is credited as being the first recorded instance of “Blues” music.

#9 – Ordinary People – $54m (573 x 10^375 in 1923 German Marks)

A gripping portrayal of the average American family. Featuring the epic scene “eating breakfast and listening to the radio” this movie would turn filmmaking on its head, then on its feet, then walk out of the theatre on itself.

#8 – Smokey and the Bandit II – $66m (599 x 10^375 in 1923 German Marks)

Smokey the bear returns in this animated classic; and he’s joined by an all-star cast featuring Tom Selleck. Whose job is it to prevent forest fires? Stay tuned to the exciting ending to find out.

#7 – Private Benjamin – $69m (623 x 10^375 in 1923 German Marks)

Goldie Hawn appears in this Freaky Friday-esque adventure. She’s mistakenly recruited into the military through a series of unfortunate events. Now it’s up to her to prove that a woman can make it in the military despite their limited muscle mass, high levels of body-fat, and haywire emotions.

#6 – Coal Miner’s Daughter – $79m (826 x 10 ^375 in 1923 German Marks)

Dolly Parton stars in this classic film of a woman’s rise from the depths of a coal mine to become the woman with the largest breasts on Earth – proving that with a lot of hard work a girl can accomplish anything.

Keep  your eyes and your potatoes peeled for Part 2 of our look at the top films of 1980. Until then, here’s a Blues classic.

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