Are you a bad enough dude?

Bao Xiao Tien Guo (Explosion Sangokushi) is the second release from our South Korean guerrilla Nintendo Entertainment System video game programming comrades Waixing Computer Science & Technology Co., Ltd. – the first release being Bing Kuang Ji Dan Zi: Flighty Chicken.

For Explosion Sangokushi, the developers decided to move away from the high school home economics project of taking care of an egg. Realizing that not everyone would become a parent and that most students at the school of Waixing Computer Science & Technology would become custodians, Explosion Sangokushi embraced the groundskeeper genre of gaming.

This worked for two reasons. If players were destined to become janitors, they were given an overhead view of the world that could be used to maximize their shift by allowing them to find shortcuts on the grounds. And if players worked their way up the chain, they would surely find themselves in a supervisory position: if they are smart enough to press the ‘A’ and ‘B’ buttons, they can figure out how to boss the other custodians around and become king of the schoolyard.

…Just beware of the Ides of March because you’ll get your comeuppance. Oh yes, yes you will.

Excellent point-and-click adventure game.

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Buy another Nintendo Entertainment System and daisy-chain it to your first because you’re going to need twice the power in order to handle this cartridge.

Bio Senshi Dan: Increase Tono Tatakai is the sequel to the highly successful Bio Miracle Bokutte Upa. Bio Senshi actually picks up where Bio Miracle stops – with players ‘dropping acid’ and getting on an ‘elevator’.

The style of play has changed between the two releases, however. While Bio Senshi is still a platformer, it is a bit more nuanced than Bio Miracle. Players are able to return to crawling by pressing ‘down’ on the control pad – one of few holdovers from the first release – and they’re also able to turn around to face the background by pressing ‘up’. The ‘B’ button attacks with some sort of stick, while the ‘A’ button is, once again, used for jumping.

Bio Senshi Dan rebuilt the genre of run and jump platforming on the NES, and it would build a time-machine in order to go back in time and influence such games as Metroid and Zelda II: The Adventure of Link.

Despite its influence, Bio Senshi Dan was only moderately successful in its lifetime. If you see this cartridge sitting at the end of someone’s driveway or resting against a bus shelter, do yourself a favour and pick it up.

Each keystroke of this review was stroked in order to support the troops, and each word that was read means that 25-cents went to the United States Army in order to provide funding for a Kevlar vest, which the troops will pass around amongst themselves.

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Bucky O’Hare is the video game adaptation of the 1982 film Blade Runner.

The game’s title character, Bucky O’Hare, is a replicant with a vendetta against the scientists who created him. None of the memories he has of being a space-travelling rabbit are his own – they’re merely creations, meant to give him a sense of rabbitmanity.

It’s your task to guide Bucky throughout 2019 Los Angeles. Can you determine which thoughts and memories are true and which were implanted? Can you find the scientists responsible?

It’s a thrilling journey as you meet love interests and explore the world through the eyes of a robot rabbit who is coming to grips with the fact that he wasn’t born in a cramped cage with hundreds of other rabbits – as he’d always thought.

In the end we discover that we’re all robotic rabbits at our core, and that love knows no bounds – not even the boundaries keeping robotic rabbits from making love to very real female escorts.

A mediocre side-scrolling platformer.

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The most anticipated game of 1980 to be held-over for a more aesthetically pleasing 1985 release.

Battle City was originally released into the short-lived 45 rpm record world of gaming where it enjoyed much success, selling over zero copies. It was so successful that Namco decided to release an arcade port.

It is the arcade port that the Nintendo Entertainment System version is based on, and it truly captures the spirit and simulates the arcade by asking players to insert coins. Because of this feature, it also gives players the feeling of being eight-years-old once again and not possessing money, being left only to pound on the buttons with the hopes that someone may have inserted a quarter into the slot and forgotten about it – or engaging in some questionable activities behind the arcade with the hopes of procuring a quarter from their hairy, eastern European lover.

Due to the limitations of the NES, coins cannot be inserted. This doesn’t detract from the game, however, as players can bathe in the nostalgia of playing the game. Or not playing the game, as the case may be.

Sergei, come back to me.

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Sunsoft are back again with another surefire classic.

Blaster Master, the spiritual successor to 100-in-1 Contra Function 16, carries on where Contra Function 16 left off – by being a broken version of the game Contra. In this case they’ve replaced the soldier with an armored SUV, and the fun with shame.

As you drive around firing your cannon in one of five distinct directions you’ll quickly realize that the environments are all the same, as are the enemies.

The only excitement in the game is found by driving off the platforms and onto the lower level. Driving on this lower level for more than an instant will result in the explosion of your vehicle and the thrill of knowing you were on the edge, looking death in the eye.

And you didn’t blink.

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Famous renegade developers Waixing Computer Science & Technology Co. Ltd. are back with the sequel to Flightless Eagle.

The game opens with the choice between chicken and egg. Once you choose your character you’ll then be asked if your chicken will be a mage, warrior, or sandwich.

Next you’ll need to create a unique personality for your chicken. Will he shun the status quo and refuse to be eaten, or willingly close the oven door upon himself? The decision is yours – but beware – the decision will affect gameplay when the chicken either begins an adventure or is eaten within the first few minutes of cinematics.

One of the key menu items not found in a typical RPG is the temperature gauge – allowing you to cook yourself if you miss a quest and find yourself stuck. Something that was sorely lacking in the recent preview build of Final Fantasy I.

Inventing, reinventing, and destroying the Cooking RPG genre, all in one fell swoop.

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