One of the 1980’s hottest baseball players is now available on your Nintendo Entertainment System console!

Bo Jackson Baseball is one of the most hotly debated releases to appear on any video game console.

When the discussion of whether or not Bo Jackson Baseball is or is not actually a game comes up, I tend to decide with the ‘is’ side of the debate. And I do so for the following reasons: Bo Jackson Baseball includes

• Graphics
• Some system of input (that I haven’t quite figured out yet) that allows players to affect the outcome

In conclusion, I feel that these characteristics are solid to finally put this debate to rest.

Definitely a game.

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Edward Leslie’s wrestling career had the most modest of beginnings. In the early 70s he took his “bumps” by sweeping floors at a local hair salon using a 50lb maul hammer. With each push of this enormous “broom’” he grew closer and closer to his dream of wrestling under the bright lights of the local gymnasium.

Finally, eight years of back breaking sweeping later, his dream became a reality. Hulk Hogan, wrestling under the alias Hulk Homo at the time, needed an equally homosexual counterpart to complete his tag-team. Ed Leslie was the ideal choice – Leslie “The Hair Stylist” Chiffon was born.

Together they wrestled the niche gay bar wrestling circuit until Hulk Hogan’s boyfriend Vince McMahon took over his father’s wrestling league.

McMahon hired Hogan as the superstar who would catapult the league into the mainstream, and he hired Leslie as the man who would sweep up Hogan’s frequently lost hair follicles.

It wasn’t the start Leslie expected to have with the WWF, but it wouldn’t be long until he was once again cast into the pink-hued spotlight.

While trimming hedges outside of the Long Island Coliseum, Leslie was called into Vince’s office. After exchanging explicit favors to one another it was decided that Leslie would move up from assistant facilities manager to E-String WWF undercard.

Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, hedge trimmers in hand, would dominate the mixed-sex and midget wrestling circuit in front of audiences as large as some of the most successful Twisted Sister cover bands.

Eventually his career reached its pinnacle when he was listed as “Hulk Hogan’s best friend” in an article about Hulk Hogan’s son killing another man in a car collision.

The only way to go from there was retirement.

Vote YES on Prop 9.

Gather ‘round as we witness the mascot of a new millennium.

Six-years after the collapse of communism in the Soviet Union, the first Nintendo Entertainment Systems finally made it to the other side of the Iron Curtain. In an attempt to add insult to injury, the governments of Japan and the United States maintained their embargo on the export of ROM cartridges.

Outraged at this injustice, the Russian government funded the creation of its own video game. The best scientists were given access to Russia’s best resources – a pencil and some graph paper – in order to show that Russia would not tolerate another defeat at the hands of Japan or the United States.

Boogerman was the outcome. A scathing attack on the governments of Japan and the United States, Boogerman moves (directional pad) and leaps (‘A’ button) gracefully yet flicks his ‘boogers’ (‘B’ button) on anything and everything.

While I am personally disgusted at such a crass display, the value of Boogerman’s social and political commentary should not be overlooked. Historians might also take an interesting in Boogerman, as he was also a proposed mascot for the 1980 Summer Olympics, hosted in Moscow.

In these hard times, we must stand by our comrades. Do your part by pledging allegiance to the Russian Federation.

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Do not fear. It’s not what it sounds like – I assure you.

When I came across this game, I had two immediate and conflicting responses. For one, I was wondering if I should ask an adult if it was alright for me to play it. Secondly, I became so hot and bothered that I figured it would be unwise to talk to anyone regardless of the circumstances.

I thought it was going to be an amazing game like Baseball. Needless to say, I was let down in more ways than one.

In Booby Kids, players dig holes and set traps for enemies from a lovely 3/4^th bird’s eye view perspective. The directional pad moves the player around the screen, while the ‘B’ button digs holes. Smart players will press ‘B’ all around themselves, forming a barricade, then directional-pad themselves into the appropriate direction (that is, a hole) until they win the game (that is, turn off their Nintendo Entertainment System).

Despite its shortcomings, this addition to the suicide genre is welcome, as it gives players a reason to untie the noose from the rod in their closet. Awesome! And while I was disappointed, it did keep me from being sent to jail for a second-strike possession of a certain type of illegal pornographic material.

Through the power of Christ, I will beta this addiction. I mean… beat.

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Bringing the noun-simulator to a new level.

In Bloody Warriors: Shan-Go no Gyakushuu, players are immersed into the world of a man who has restless body syndrome as he tries to lead a normal life and make his dwarf mother happy following the death of his father.

The secret is to expand your home to have at least two rooms, successfully plant and harvest your crops, and avoid becoming the town drunk. The stakes are high, though, as days can be lost by being sent to stare at the wall by your mother’s stern but fair hand.

If you need a change of scenery, you can walk around town, speak gibberish at the locals, and gaze longingly into the river, praying for Baby Jesus to come take you away.

Be brave. Be strong. Life is pain, but can you persevere?

No, Mom. You stand in the corner for once. I’m 45-years-old. LET ME LIVE MY LIFE!

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Konami tops themselves once again with the release of Blue Shadow.

Blue Shadow sliced through what video game players thought made a game a game when it was released because it was one of the only video games available at the time – on consoles or in the arcade – that was not a clone of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Shinobi, Ninja Gaiden, or Strip Poker.

Blue Shadow introduces many interesting game play elements, with walking to the right side of the screen in order to complete a level being among the most innovative.

If you like ninjas and 13^th century Irish folklore, do yourself a favour and pick up a copy of Blue Shadow at your local independent retailer.

Doesn’t contain as much mahjong as I would have liked, but there is enough present for even the hardest-cored mahjong fans.

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