Are you a bad enough dude to help Bugs get to his birthday party?

Be that as it may, it’s not really an issue because The Bugs Bunny Birthday Blowout is not a video game. It represents the Warner Brothers’ attempt to cash-in on what was perceived to be the next great video storage medium: the plastic Nintendo Entertainment System cartridge.

Due to limitations of the 8-bit cartridge, each installment could only contain 20-seconds’ worth of drawings and text.

Despite this, Birthday Blowout features some of the most intuitive controls to appear on the NES, as mashing my keypad allowed me to advance through the breathtaking scenes.

I eagerly await the next 70 installments.

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Richard Rood started his wrestling career on the railcar circuit in the early 1960s, where he went by his cart-name Johnny “Rimjob” Johnson. He wrestled at switchyards across the continental United States until 1986 when he was discovered at a gas station urinal by Vince MacMahon. MacMahon invited Rood to join MacMahon’s Basement Wrestling Association (MBWA). After a brief conversation with a rag covered in chloroform, Rood accepted and became known as Dick “Sloppy Firsts” Ruüd.

In 1987 MacMahon invited Rood to join the World Wrestling Federation. A combination of Stockholm Syndrome and Rood’s desire to ‘go legit’ allowed for him to become a household name and make his mark on the wrestling zeitgeist as “Ravishing” Rick Rude.

Playing on wrestling fans’ appreciation for alliteration, Rood quickly became a fan favourite. Young boys everywhere loved how slowly Rood would remove his rob upon entering the ring, and they all longed to be the randomly selected woman from the crowd who Rood would kiss after his victory.

Due in part to Rood’s astounding ability to be able to put his hands on his head and suggestively move his hips, Rood became the WWF Intercontinental Champion on April 2^nd, 1987. He lost this title six months later to the Ultimate Warrior in a poorly-thought-out game of dice.

Tragically, Rood died in a plane crash on the way to an event in Minnesota. The plane crashed in Iowa. Also on board were Kurt “Mr. Perfect” Hennig, Big John Studd, Bam Bam Bigelow, The British Bulldog, Ritchie Valens, the Big Bopper, and Buddy Holly.

Always ravishing and never rude, Rood will be greatly missed until someone else dies. Despite the misnomer of his ring-name, he will always be #1 in fans’ hearts.

#1 in this fan’s pants.

Finally a way to share the joy of the NES with 3 of your closest friends, relatives, or stuffed animals.

As you may have guessed from the accessory’s name and the subheading of this post, the device’s main feature is the ability of 4 players to use the NES at one time.

An added bonus is the ability to enable ‘Turbo’ for the ‘A’ and ‘B’ buttons on every controller. Unfortunately it lacks the turbo option for the D-Pad, so you wont be able to take jolted partial steps as you play Super Mario Bros. Bummer.

The list of compatible games is pretty impressive, including the hits "Harlem Globetrotters," "Magic Johnson’s Fast Break" and "Game Genie Menu Screen."

The ability to force twice the amount of people to play Magic Johnson’s Fast Break has meant the CIA is now capable of doubling the rate of interrogations in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. An impressive feat for any device not named "Virtua Boy."

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If you’ve been hankerin’ to become a master of wizzing then Quickshot’s got the product for you.

The trick to wizzing comfortably is to have no wires to get tangled up in. Thankfully this Wizmaster comes complete with wireless receiver and wireless controller allowing you to wiz in any room in the entire house now!

Sometimes I have a few friends over so there’ll be multiple wizzes operating at the same time. It’s incredible, really – there’s no sign of interference from one wiz to another!

Unfortunately it’s limited to one console, so you can only wiz on the NES at the moment.

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Between the glory days of the record, and the tragic compact disc era, there was another way of listening to music. That way was the compact cassette.

A cassette (sometimes known as a "tape") normally contained 30 to 45 minutes of audio per side – just enough AC/DC to keep you wanting more. Its size was roughly that of a deck of cards, though not as deep.

A key difference between the vinyl record and the tape was that it enabled listeners to record music off of the radio, or to duplicate their friend’s tapes. This meant listeners were no longer bound by the crushing clutches of "not being a music pirate" and were free to ‘stick it to artists.’

The recording industry inevitably tried to take cassettes off the market through a lawsuit, but their case was thrown out when cassette makers presented Bruce Springsteen as evidence that music had no value – a key requirement in considering something theft.

Where tapes failed in comparison to records was resiliency – they had a tendency to be ‘eaten’ by cassette decks. Following their destruction the tapes often resembled an unraveled ball of yarn – albeit a yarn covered in the sweet sweet sounds of ZZ Top. These eaten tapes would often get discarded by the sides of roads as drivers sought environmentally friendly ways to decorate the neighborhood.

Eventually cassettes were replaced in their role as a means to listen to audio. Their replacement came in the form of writing out and then ingesting the lyrics to your favorite songs – which in some instances improved the song after travelling through the digestive system.

Now-a-days, as we listen to our favorite Katy Perry wax cylinder it’s easy to take for granted the devices of the past.

Without cassettes my Walkman would only be good for emptying batteries.

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Everyone’s favourite cautionary fable used by school teachers across the globe is now available on an 8-bit cartridge!

BreakThru is the high-octane sequel to The Adventures of Bayou Billy, and it picks up where Bayou Billy left off, with players passed out on the floor after blowing in the cartridge for ten unrelenting minutes.

But once players get that new 72-pin connector installed, it becomes clear what BreakThru is: Billy’s Sunday drive away from the dangers of the bayou in his tricked-out jeep. To pilot this machine, players make use of the directional pad in order to move around the screen, the ‘B’ button to shoot’, and ‘A’ button to initiate hydraulics.

This time around players will have to look out for landmines, falling rocks, and an impenetrable rock wall that appears halfway through the first level, making it impossible to continue living and advance in the level.

Not so much a game as it is a metaphor for life.

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