As Crocodile Dundee took movie theatres by storm, it was time for the WWF to unleash their secret weapon on the unsuspecting masses. No, not The Bushwhackers – Outback Jack. Hailed from Northern Australia, or “The Outback,” he was essentially the original Steve Irwin. Wrestling crocodiles, cows, ‘roos – you name it.

His career started off well enough, taking on jobbers and beating them with the same ease he used in tackling this poor cow. But as interest in one-dimensional Australian stereotypes waned, Vince saw fit to give the push to TWO one-dimensional Australians, in The Bushwhackers, rather than just one.

Outback Jack was on the outs, and it was all downhill from there. Two years into the WWF and it was all over. Back to the outback he went, hat in hand, to continue his lucrative cow tackling career. His work did not go unnoticed, as cow tackling remains  the #1 sport in Australia to this day.

Round up your LARPing buddies and get ready for some live-action r…ping.

In this installation of Pony Canyon’s take on Dungeons and Dragons, Advanced Dungeons and Dragons: Heroes of the Lance, Pony Canyon decided to break the very mold that they created.

Moving away from the menu and menu with light graphic simulation that Pony Canyon became famous for, Heroes of the Lance offers a video game that consists of graphics that can be controlled with the directional pad of your Nintendo Entertainment System keypad.

Heroes of the Lance also shows the deeper, more philosophical side of Pony Canyon’s development team. With the underlying assumptions that life is meaningless and that there’s really nothing holding us back from tossing ourselves off a cliff, Heroes of the Lance essentially defines the existentialist suicide simulator. With only one screen, players are asked a very serious question – do you stand around and wait or do you take charge and throw yourself into the gorge?

To avoid answering the question, simply turn off the console.

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The fifty-seventh sequel to 1-in-1.

58-in-1 contains fifty-eight titles to choose from. Fortunately and surprisingly, all of the titles lead to games that actually work.

Perhaps even more surprising than all of the games actually working is that the games don’t start repeating until the fifty-fifth game, when Fancy Bros., Star Soldier 2, Super Pac-Man, and Super Tank make their appearance.

Aside from this, players are granted fifty-four games that actually work and that they might actually find entertaining.

Showing the evolution of #-in-1, 58-in-1 almost delivers what its title promises.

Galaxian and Galaga.

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A mere 17 days into Roarin’ 80s’ history and we’ve already reached an incredible milestone. Before you know it we’ll be celebrating 335 posts, and then our 715 post celebration will be right around the corner.

It’s been a bumpy road. Having to commandeer the domain from a geriatric porn site, buying 2600 NES cartridges, obtaining the rights to reproduce every WWF wrestler’s photos. And, of course, playing with every single toy produced in the 80s.

Nobody said it would be easy though, and it wasn’t. We’re truly heroes.

Here’s to post #143.

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Leave it to Denmark to create chimney bricks for children.

Who hasn’t dreamed of becoming a brick layer when they grow up? All that cement and… bricks. It’s basically as glamorous of a career as there is, aside from being an astronaut who moonlights as a crocodile wrestler.

So grab your big bag of bricks and create all that you can; which will be a tiny windowless hut, perhaps, but it’s your windowless hut.

Lego my Eggo

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…Home of the 106 mile per hour fastball.

When I see a baseball game cartridge for the Nintendo Entertainment System, I assume it is Bad News Baseball. Not only assume, but hope. Unfortunately, I’m usually wrong, and the game ends up being Bo Jackson Baseball or Roger Clemens’ MVP Baseball.

Bad News Baseball has a few key features that later games of the genre are missing, such as the ability to do a quarter, half, or three-quarters swing and slide around the batter’s box while holding that swing and crowd the plate when you are batting. One of the most interesting and innovative controls is the ability to control every single outfielder at the same time.

Bad News Baseball comes nowhere close to striking out. If anything, it’s four balls.

If there’s grass on the field, and at least seventeen other people, then play ball!

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