One man, one dream, one life of regret that leads to those dreams becoming nightmares.

Burger Time is a snapshot of the life of a butcher and restaurant franchisee Mr Mary.

After training for years in his native Italy, Mr Mary finally saved up enough money to move to the United States where he was able to open his own deli. But after years of living the dream, each slice of the blade into every carcass felt like a slice into his very soul. It is in this psychological dystopia that Burger Time takes place.

This nightmare landscape consists of parts of hamburgers that must be assembled by walking over them and knocking them down on top of each other. Players must also avoid re-animated eggs and sausages, which they can be fended-off with a shake of Mr Mary’s salt and pepper shakers (done by using the ‘A’ and ‘B’ buttons).

Can you survive the nightmare?

Great addition to the hamburger assembly genre.

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Say Anything, released in 1989, marks Russell Crow’s directorial debut. It is an art-house film – marking the first time such a film found success in the mainstream – based loosely on the Stephen King novel Christine. It stars John Mahoney as ‘Jim Court’, Judd Nelson as ‘Young Jim Court’, and Ione Skye as ‘Unnamed Woman’.

Say Anything begins with Jim Court sitting in a bathtub. Contemplating the last forty-years, the camera moves in slowly to show us Court’s slow descent into dementia. This descent is documented through Court’s facial expressions and flashbacks to his youth.

Court’s first flashback takes us to a simpler time when he ran a daycare agency out of his living room for young neighbourhood boys, free-of-charge.

Court’s face finds itself with an intense expression when he thinks back to meeting Unnamed Woman and teaching her how to drive the car that she was given for graduating – at least that is what’s mentioned in passing. Court’s face grimaces with each damaging clutch press and gearshift.

Court manages to keep it together, and minutes later he teaches Unnamed Woman how to do a different style of driving. Unfortunately the lesson is cut short because Court loses a contact lens (symbolizing his youth and dreams) in the back seat and the two seek the illuminating capability of a blanket in order to help them find it. Mahoney recreates this memory powerfully, showing us all what it must look like for an individual to possess only one contact lens by sloppily kissing at the air about him.

The scene ends with Court dashing out of the bathtub once he has a vague recollection of having fingered some dollar bills earlier in the day. Court goes on a desperate search in order to find this stash of money and regain his sanity.

The narrative and Court’s mental state begin to show breaks once Court’s memories begin to include both his current and younger self. In a moment of clarity, Court realizes his alienation as brought about by a capitalist economic system. He has become alienated from himself. And in a heartbreaking twist, he realizes that Unnamed Woman is really his animus – the psychological projection of his feminine side that he had tried to repress since his father called him a ‘Nancy’ in the late 1930s.

The film ends with a broken Court seeking refuge in the prison of his mind, having thrown in the towel and deciding that he is ready to be reunited with all aspects of his Self and accept the cold indifference of the universe.

After a brief fit of yelling and a wrestling match with a shopping cart, that is.

Beautiful.

Revolutionized how individuals approached bathing and washing clothing by showing them the ‘two birds with one stone’ method.

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Are you a bad enough dude to help Bugs get to his birthday party?

Be that as it may, it’s not really an issue because The Bugs Bunny Birthday Blowout is not a video game. It represents the Warner Brothers’ attempt to cash-in on what was perceived to be the next great video storage medium: the plastic Nintendo Entertainment System cartridge.

Due to limitations of the 8-bit cartridge, each installment could only contain 20-seconds’ worth of drawings and text.

Despite this, Birthday Blowout features some of the most intuitive controls to appear on the NES, as mashing my keypad allowed me to advance through the breathtaking scenes.

I eagerly await the next 70 installments.

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Richard Rood started his wrestling career on the railcar circuit in the early 1960s, where he went by his cart-name Johnny “Rimjob” Johnson. He wrestled at switchyards across the continental United States until 1986 when he was discovered at a gas station urinal by Vince MacMahon. MacMahon invited Rood to join MacMahon’s Basement Wrestling Association (MBWA). After a brief conversation with a rag covered in chloroform, Rood accepted and became known as Dick “Sloppy Firsts” Ruüd.

In 1987 MacMahon invited Rood to join the World Wrestling Federation. A combination of Stockholm Syndrome and Rood’s desire to ‘go legit’ allowed for him to become a household name and make his mark on the wrestling zeitgeist as “Ravishing” Rick Rude.

Playing on wrestling fans’ appreciation for alliteration, Rood quickly became a fan favourite. Young boys everywhere loved how slowly Rood would remove his rob upon entering the ring, and they all longed to be the randomly selected woman from the crowd who Rood would kiss after his victory.

Due in part to Rood’s astounding ability to be able to put his hands on his head and suggestively move his hips, Rood became the WWF Intercontinental Champion on April 2^nd, 1987. He lost this title six months later to the Ultimate Warrior in a poorly-thought-out game of dice.

Tragically, Rood died in a plane crash on the way to an event in Minnesota. The plane crashed in Iowa. Also on board were Kurt “Mr. Perfect” Hennig, Big John Studd, Bam Bam Bigelow, The British Bulldog, Ritchie Valens, the Big Bopper, and Buddy Holly.

Always ravishing and never rude, Rood will be greatly missed until someone else dies. Despite the misnomer of his ring-name, he will always be #1 in fans’ hearts.

#1 in this fan’s pants.

Finally a way to share the joy of the NES with 3 of your closest friends, relatives, or stuffed animals.

As you may have guessed from the accessory’s name and the subheading of this post, the device’s main feature is the ability of 4 players to use the NES at one time.

An added bonus is the ability to enable ‘Turbo’ for the ‘A’ and ‘B’ buttons on every controller. Unfortunately it lacks the turbo option for the D-Pad, so you wont be able to take jolted partial steps as you play Super Mario Bros. Bummer.

The list of compatible games is pretty impressive, including the hits "Harlem Globetrotters," "Magic Johnson’s Fast Break" and "Game Genie Menu Screen."

The ability to force twice the amount of people to play Magic Johnson’s Fast Break has meant the CIA is now capable of doubling the rate of interrogations in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. An impressive feat for any device not named "Virtua Boy."

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If you’ve been hankerin’ to become a master of wizzing then Quickshot’s got the product for you.

The trick to wizzing comfortably is to have no wires to get tangled up in. Thankfully this Wizmaster comes complete with wireless receiver and wireless controller allowing you to wiz in any room in the entire house now!

Sometimes I have a few friends over so there’ll be multiple wizzes operating at the same time. It’s incredible, really – there’s no sign of interference from one wiz to another!

Unfortunately it’s limited to one console, so you can only wiz on the NES at the moment.

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