Between the glory days of the record, and the tragic compact disc era, there was another way of listening to music. That way was the compact cassette.

A cassette (sometimes known as a "tape") normally contained 30 to 45 minutes of audio per side – just enough AC/DC to keep you wanting more. Its size was roughly that of a deck of cards, though not as deep.

A key difference between the vinyl record and the tape was that it enabled listeners to record music off of the radio, or to duplicate their friend’s tapes. This meant listeners were no longer bound by the crushing clutches of "not being a music pirate" and were free to ’stick it to artists.’

The recording industry inevitably tried to take cassettes off the market through a lawsuit, but their case was thrown out when cassette makers presented Bruce Springsteen as evidence that music had no value – a key requirement in considering something theft.

Where tapes failed in comparison to records was resiliency – they had a tendency to be ‘eaten’ by cassette decks. Following their destruction the tapes often resembled an unraveled ball of yarn – albeit a yarn covered in the sweet sweet sounds of ZZ Top. These eaten tapes would often get discarded by the sides of roads as drivers sought environmentally friendly ways to decorate the neighborhood.

Eventually cassettes were replaced in their role as a means to listen to audio. Their replacement came in the form of writing out and then ingesting the lyrics to your favorite songs – which in some instances improved the song after travelling through the digestive system.

Now-a-days, as we listen to our favorite Katy Perry wax cylinder it’s easy to take for granted the devices of the past.

Without cassettes my Walkman would only be good for emptying batteries.

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Everyone’s favourite cautionary fable used by school teachers across the globe is now available on an 8-bit cartridge!

BreakThru is the high-octane sequel to The Adventures of Bayou Billy, and it picks up where Bayou Billy left off, with players passed out on the floor after blowing in the cartridge for ten unrelenting minutes.

But once players get that new 72-pin connector installed, it becomes clear what BreakThru is: Billy’s Sunday drive away from the dangers of the bayou in his tricked-out jeep. To pilot this machine, players make use of the directional pad in order to move around the screen, the ‘B’ button to shoot’, and ‘A’ button to initiate hydraulics.

This time around players will have to look out for landmines, falling rocks, and an impenetrable rock wall that appears halfway through the first level, making it impossible to continue living and advance in the level.

Not so much a game as it is a metaphor for life.

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Fasten your seatbelts and put your baby in the glove box – it’s time for the journey of a lifetime!

Battletoads are back following their two hit sequels (Battle Baseball and Battle Formula). This time they’ve dropped the baseball playing and being automobiles to become fighting toads again. It’s good to see the developers return to the roots of the franchise.

They’re joined by Double Dragon – two of the most lethal homosexuals to ever don jean jackets and passionately kiss each other.

You’re given the choice of selecting one of the three ‘toads, or one of the two dragons. My personal favorites are Zit from Battletoads and Rupert from Double Dragon.

The game’s difficulty is pretty steep, requiring that you learn both “Punch” and “Kick.”  It didn’t come with a manual so I spent an entire morning pressing ‘Power’ and ‘Reset’ trying to fight off foes before I realized the controller was necessary.

Overall it’s a decent beat-em-up, it’s just a shame there wasn’t room for Raphael, he’s my favorite Battletoad.

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…Definitely a video game!

Burai Fighter – the lesser-known prequel to the popular Pit Fighter – was the first and last release by Tito Jackson Interactive LLC before the franchise was sold to Konami for a muffin and one page from a newspaper.

In the loosest sense of the word, Burai Fighter is also a game: there are images on screen and one of those images often corresponds to ‘input’ from the player’s ‘Nintendo Entertainment System keypad’.

Unfortunately, the only peripheral I have is the Nintendo Power Pad, so I may have missed out on part of the experience – such as being able to move ‘left’ and ‘right’ or ‘at all’.

Unlike most games at the time, Burai Fighter encourages players to select which bird they would like to play with. This feature wouldn’t be seen again until later tonight when I go to bed.

Valuable addition to the shooting man genre.

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The largest collection of Bomberman titles outside of a shelf full of Bomberman titles.

If you love Bomberman and/or collecting things, you’re in for a treat today.

As soon as I hit ‘Start’ I knew this was going to be the experience of a lifetime. There was an energy – a positive vibe – coming from the controller. The floor model RCA looked a little brighter, the shag carpet a little less covered in Kool-Aid stains. This was something special.

Level one loaded and I saw the first map – it was gorgeous. The colors were so vibrant, the atmosphere was perfect.

Then I got blown up.

So I started again.

And got blown up again.

Then I held the ‘Left’ button the d-pad, and I seemed to avoid being blown up briefly, but eventually blew up.

It was everything I’d hoped for. Bomberman lived up to its name – I was being bombed, and today I became a man.

A Bomber Man.

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Typically pigeon-holed as a novelty act, Joe Dolce — also known by his given name of Joe Dolce Music Theatre – shocked critics and surprised fans in 1980 with the release of the “Shaddap You Face”. Released first as a single, with the classic “Ain’t in No Hurry” as the B-side, “Suddap You Face” the LP was released the following year.

The single went to #1 in the United Kingdom and Australia and nine other countries that were too embarrassed to respond honestly to survey questionnaires. The original pressing of the single sold over six-million copies, with an additional ten copies being sold after it was analogally remastered for wax cylinder in 1983.

Sales of the single led to “Shaddap You Face” becoming the most successful track produced in Australia outside of the collective INXS heroin habit. “Shaddap You Face” became Australia’s greatest export next to men who like to wrestle marine life.

The success of “Shaddap You Face” has been attributed to the interplay between its dulcet tones, as well as its depressingly low lows and depressingly low highs – making it seem more like the musical embodiment of a work by Edgar Allan Poe.

In giving up the silly lyrics like those of 1979’s “Boat People” – a song about people who like to spend their time on boats – Joe Dolce reached right into the hearts of listeners and showed them the plight of the Italian immigrant in 1920s New York City:

Whassamatta you? Gotta no respect? Whaddya think you do? Why you looka so sad? It’s-a not so bad. It’s-a nice-a place. Ah, shaddap you face.

The world was ready for this change, and Joe Dolce stepped in to fill that hole hard and fast, the only way Australians know how.

Thank you for filling my hole.

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