Let’s take a look at the new face of Hollywood – Anthony Michael Hall.

Born in captivity, Hall took well to his surroundings, eventually being released into the wild. At seven he starred in his first commercial, a Honeycomb cereal ad. By 13 he was already playing Rusty Griswold in the National Lampoons Vacation series – something most kids don’t do until at least 14.

By 15 he had become addicted to huffing the fumes out of his Ferrari’s tailpipe. His time away from the zoo had caught up with him. Without the proper trainers and facility staff he was now on his own. If only there were people who could have taken responsibility for him – people older than him, with some type of genetic connection. Mother Nature is a harsh mistress.

While still suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning he followed up Vacation with Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, and Pretty in Pink. Each film earning progressively more at the box office until finally culminating in an incredible $936. Hall’s contract allowed him to collect the entirety of the ticket revenue, and he quickly invested the money into his idling car.

As the 90s approach Hall has been vocal about his inability to stop lying face down in his garage with several expensive luxury cars running. He’s personally starred in a number of commercials warning children about the misuse of Italian performance automobiles. Unfortunately he’s been blacklisted in Hollywood until he can get his problem straightened away.

Will Hall pick himself up off of his garage floor, turn back the key – and perhaps turn back the clock, to a simpler time? A time when his only comfort wasn’t found in the hum of a finely tuned engine echoing through his purposely small garage?

We can only hope – and look forward to the next film about an awkward teen.